i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
