we're blogging at a bar
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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