We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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