How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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