the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
