Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
