I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
