Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
