It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
