Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
