My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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