very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
