I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
