I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
