I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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