I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
