Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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