When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize