Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
