a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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