I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
