For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
