I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
