I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
