just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
