so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
then he tried to convert me to islam
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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