well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
