You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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