i think my tv is drunk
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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