I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
