There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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