Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
