I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
