i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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