no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry my hands just texted you
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
