You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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