Kareoke will never be a sober sport
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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