Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
