so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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