He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
