have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Everything about him screamed your future.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
