Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
