does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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