yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
