how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize