Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
