i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
