so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
