When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize