I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
